The Giant Book of Animal Jokes:
Beastly Humor for Grownups
Created by two world class word players
who've been playing with words since Pluto was a pup.
Richard Lederer, |
a professional word guy, who was elected International Punster of the Year,
is a language columnist, broadcaster, speaker, and author of books on words,
over 30 of them. (Complete list at
With illustrations by James McLean.
James Ertner, |
a longtime collector of jokes, puns, riddles, and rhymes who took first
place at the 25th Annual O. Henry Pun-Off World Championships (see joke
4375), is an MC and roaster and a writer of joke books.
Finalist for the San Diego
Book Awards in Humor
The Giant Book
offers 4,509 numbered jokes and scores of unnumbered twists
and puns — in the
introduction, in section intros, in multi-pun jokes such as 2013, 3094,
You’ll find the kind
that made you giggle in grammar school,
the kind that
made you hysterical in high school history, lit, and science,
the kind that
turns grownups into groan-ups with bar scenes, the battle of the sexes,
married life, raising children, politics.
For hex ample:
|3403 Why do we call it
politics? Because poly means many and ticks
means blood-sucking parasites.
||4495 A veterinarian who was also a
taxidermist put this sign on his office door: Either Way, You Get
Your Dog Back.
|183 Mother Bear said to Father
Bear, "This is positively my last year as den mother."
||595 Golf is the game that has turned the
cows out of the pasture and let the bull in.
|2023 The problem with dark
horse candidates is that you can't find out about their track
records until you're saddled with them.
||3618 Two librarians were talking, and one
asked, "Is your husband a bookworm?" "No," replied the other, "just
an ordinary one."
|An ink blotter is like a lazy baby
dog in that a blotter is an ink-lined plane, an inclined plane is
a slope up, and a slow pup is a lazy dog.
||4362 Knock, knock. Who's there? Owl.
Owl who? Owl you know if you don't open the door?
|3729 Teacher: "What is
dogmatism?" Student: "Puppyism come to its full growth."
||There's the little bull that wants to stay in the
pasture for heifer and heifer.
|4080 What do you get when you
cross a porcupine with an alarm clock? A stickler for
||972 Why does the ocean roar? You'd roar,
too, if you had crabs on your bottom.
What experts say about
The Giant Book of Animal Jokes
"It's Noah meets Noah Webster. Contains
every animal joke possum-ble."
— MIKE REISS, Emmy
Award-winning writer and producer of The Simpsons
It's ". . . a virtual Ark-hive of animal
riddles, puns, and jokes. An absolute must reference for humorists,
joke-list moderators, and anyone who loves word play."
— STAN KEGEL - 2000 "Punster
of the Year" and editor of several joke lists including
"Groaners," "Puns of the Day," and "Jest For Kids"
"Richard Lederer is the True King of
— SIDNEY SHELDON
It's all for fun. Click below to order The Giant
Book of Animal Jokes.